Who's Proud of Me?

Yesterday I was watching the Golden Girls on DVD. YES I have the entire series on DVD. Its one of my favorite shows of all time. One of the funniest on TV ever. So anyway, I was watching an episode where Blanche's father passed away and as she was at his grave site she said that she doesn't have anyone else in her life to be proud of her.

It was at that moment that I realized that's what I have been feeling for a while but it never occurred to me until I heard her say that on that episode. As I have stated on here before my mother passed on 7/30/2006, and I have been having this emptiness in my heart ever since. Yes, I still have a father, sister, and aunts/uncles who I am close too they still cannot measure up to my mother. In all honesty she was the one who was ALWAYS proud of me the most, she encouraged me the most and she loved me the most. Someday down the road I will get my Masters degree but I won't have my mother there to be proud of me...sure my family will be happy for me but for me being proud and happy are two totally different emotions. Someday I'll get married and have a child and as great as those moments will be I still won't have my mother there to be proud of me.

Life is a funny and interesting thing. It has its ups and downs and its never fair but you have to survive in it and make the most of it. No amount of typing in this blog or praying will ever bring my mother back and fill this emptiness in my heart, cause whats done is done, and its up to me to be proud of me.

My Weekend

Considering my previous post I had a blast this weekend going back to my alma mater for the Black Alumni Reunion. On Friday I had the chance to sit in with one of the DJ's on campus radio and watch him do his show. He does an old school show every Friday from 9-11pm. Its called the Time Machine check it out sometime at http://www.wuag.net. It has always been a secret desire of mine to have my own radio show and play the music I want to play. So it was great to sit and watch J-Mas do his thing. He even had a special guest he interviewed...Busta Brown from 97.1. I actually knew Busta from when he worked at 102 Jamz and he was cool.

Saturday night was great. We had the Annual Black Party. Of course there were quite a few who refused to wear all black.. (one went as far to wear all white..lol)but I digress, the affair was classy and great. The event is organized by two members of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity. The DJ was great and playing a lot of Old school music (at least what I consider old school). THEN out of the blue as I was dancing with this beautiful young lady the DJ switched up and put on Soulja Boy.........................she started doing it and I had to leave the floor. I'm sorry.. I'm 31 I AINT doing the Soulja Boy...lol. I did partake in 3 vodka and cran's.. one was a courtesy from the bartender.. free is the ISH. Caught up with a few people I hadn't seen in a while, took numbers from people who I knew I'd never call...lol..Needless to say I'm not 21 anymore and began to get sleepy around 1am.. borderline comatose actually.. but I hung in until around 2am.

As I prepared to leave on Sunday I heard about a youth forum that was taking place at the War Memorial Auditorium from 4-6 so I decided to go. I am so glad I did. This forum was strictly about the youth and allowing them to express themselves...there was no adult feedback. Even though I know how important it is for fathers to be around for their children I'm really beginning to think that it is becoming critical for our young ladies. At least 5 or 6 young ladies got up and spoke about how they needed their fathers. Most needed to know who their fathers were. One young lady passionately pleaded with fathers to not leave their children. It was truly heartbreaking to see and hear that from someone that young and who shouldn't be concerned with such issues. The young brothers who were there spoke passionately about the same issues and how tired they are of being targets of the police. I mean these brothers were 13-15 years old. When I was that age I was no where close to worrying about such things. Almost all the students complained about how many times teachers tell them that they are not smart enough to do handle basic homework tasks. I can't even imagine a teacher (when I was in school) tell me such a thing... a black teacher especially.

Its weird how things can change in a matter of days... earlier last week I was ready to write off black people then this past weekend the children inspired me to want to help and reach out. Lets continue to pray for our young people. I have learned that while I don't like they way they act sometimes and hate the music they listen to and hate their attitudes towards education.. I still care and I want them to be successful.