Who's Proud of Me?

Yesterday I was watching the Golden Girls on DVD. YES I have the entire series on DVD. Its one of my favorite shows of all time. One of the funniest on TV ever. So anyway, I was watching an episode where Blanche's father passed away and as she was at his grave site she said that she doesn't have anyone else in her life to be proud of her.

It was at that moment that I realized that's what I have been feeling for a while but it never occurred to me until I heard her say that on that episode. As I have stated on here before my mother passed on 7/30/2006, and I have been having this emptiness in my heart ever since. Yes, I still have a father, sister, and aunts/uncles who I am close too they still cannot measure up to my mother. In all honesty she was the one who was ALWAYS proud of me the most, she encouraged me the most and she loved me the most. Someday down the road I will get my Masters degree but I won't have my mother there to be proud of me...sure my family will be happy for me but for me being proud and happy are two totally different emotions. Someday I'll get married and have a child and as great as those moments will be I still won't have my mother there to be proud of me.

Life is a funny and interesting thing. It has its ups and downs and its never fair but you have to survive in it and make the most of it. No amount of typing in this blog or praying will ever bring my mother back and fill this emptiness in my heart, cause whats done is done, and its up to me to be proud of me.