Makes Me Wanna Holler
I don't quite know how to structure my thoughts in this post as my thoughts are ALL over the place after the last few days. So excuse all the horrible sentence structure, grammar, verb tenses etc.. and please bear with me. In light of the Jena 6 and Genarlo Wilson stories that have been going on for quite some time, my spirit of activism was very high. I was upset that I didn't get on the bus for the Jena 6. Seeing the pictures and watching all the live footage on CNN made me feel as if I was witnessing a radical new-esque type of civil rights demonstration. I even wore all black attire to protest the injustice going on in Louisiana. It was such a high.
Well on this past Monday my high came to a crashing halt and I was reminded of another reality. I am a certified mediator and right now I am doing my internship in District Court and for the first time in my life I felt so ashamed and disappointed in my black people. For five hours I sat in a courtroom and witnessed my people look and act a damn fool in court.
In District Court the day starts with the DA doing the calendar call(which is basically a roll call of the cases on the docket). Well quite a few cases involve people who have been arrested and are currently in jail(usually 24-48 hours). On this day they brought up 40 inmates, 5 whites and 35 blacks. Out of the blacks only one was a female and the rest were males. Out of those 34 black males about 20 were there for "assault on a female", and when I tell you that they had NO CONCERN about being in jail I MEAN IT!!! It was the most hopeless thing I had ever seen in my life. Several had the audacity to laugh as the DA read the details of the charges...EVEN WORSE.. the females that they assaulted didn't even bother to show up in court so the DA had to call for a summons in every one of those cases.
My thoughts are everywhere right now so bear with me. I must address the demeanor and dress of my black people who were in court. Knowing that you have to show up in court is not instantaneous, you are given ample notice as to when you are to appear. I mean I saw horrible weaves(to the point of the track literally hanging off the head), tall tee's, sagging jeans, niggas tatted up like Lil Wayne, rocking wife beaters, and overall just totally disrespectful. I felt like I was the fish out of water and I was just there for mediation. I was approached several times by people who thought I was an attorney when I advised them I was not.. I kid you not one dude told me "shit..you all dressed up like you one". I couldn't do anything but walk away. I was raised and taught to be proud of being black and always try to represent myself in the best light at all times and before anyone says it... yes I am intelligent enough and I know ALL black people are not criminals and that they ALL don't act like NIGGAS but in this environment they were the MAJORITY and it was not a great feeling at all. I was thinking maybe these people weren't educated and just had no hope until.................
TODAY. I had the great pleasure of representing my agency at my alma mater today for a career fair. Those feelings I had this past Monday came rushing back within the first hour. I mean my supposedly educated black brothers came one after the other to my booth and left me wondering how they got into a college. They came to a job fair with no resumes, some were in baggy shorts, and the communication skills were sorely lacking. One guy who approached our booth was senior who was graduating in May and had not ONE clue as to what he wanted to do when he graduated. YES... I know a lot of students are unsure of their career plans after graduation BUT as a senior you should have some sort of clue. This young brother had none and his lack of confidence was apparent the second he stepped to the booth. When I was in college they taught "what to do and not to do" of job fairs and interviews. I guess times are changing.
I'm not 100% sure why I typed all of the above and I'm not sure what the lasting impact of it will be on me personally but I just know that I am affected by it and I am becoming increasingly weary of dealing with black people? Can I change it? Do I think everybody should be like I want them to be? Do I think I am better than these people I just described? Am I afraid that I may resort to being like them? Am I willing to extend myself even more to the youth ? Am I becoming too judgmental to be an effective agent for change?
I warned you guys my thoughts were all over the place...as I stated earlier I'm not sure what all that I have typed means.......but I know i just want to HOLLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well on this past Monday my high came to a crashing halt and I was reminded of another reality. I am a certified mediator and right now I am doing my internship in District Court and for the first time in my life I felt so ashamed and disappointed in my black people. For five hours I sat in a courtroom and witnessed my people look and act a damn fool in court.
In District Court the day starts with the DA doing the calendar call(which is basically a roll call of the cases on the docket). Well quite a few cases involve people who have been arrested and are currently in jail(usually 24-48 hours). On this day they brought up 40 inmates, 5 whites and 35 blacks. Out of the blacks only one was a female and the rest were males. Out of those 34 black males about 20 were there for "assault on a female", and when I tell you that they had NO CONCERN about being in jail I MEAN IT!!! It was the most hopeless thing I had ever seen in my life. Several had the audacity to laugh as the DA read the details of the charges...EVEN WORSE.. the females that they assaulted didn't even bother to show up in court so the DA had to call for a summons in every one of those cases.
My thoughts are everywhere right now so bear with me. I must address the demeanor and dress of my black people who were in court. Knowing that you have to show up in court is not instantaneous, you are given ample notice as to when you are to appear. I mean I saw horrible weaves(to the point of the track literally hanging off the head), tall tee's, sagging jeans, niggas tatted up like Lil Wayne, rocking wife beaters, and overall just totally disrespectful. I felt like I was the fish out of water and I was just there for mediation. I was approached several times by people who thought I was an attorney when I advised them I was not.. I kid you not one dude told me "shit..you all dressed up like you one". I couldn't do anything but walk away. I was raised and taught to be proud of being black and always try to represent myself in the best light at all times and before anyone says it... yes I am intelligent enough and I know ALL black people are not criminals and that they ALL don't act like NIGGAS but in this environment they were the MAJORITY and it was not a great feeling at all. I was thinking maybe these people weren't educated and just had no hope until.................
TODAY. I had the great pleasure of representing my agency at my alma mater today for a career fair. Those feelings I had this past Monday came rushing back within the first hour. I mean my supposedly educated black brothers came one after the other to my booth and left me wondering how they got into a college. They came to a job fair with no resumes, some were in baggy shorts, and the communication skills were sorely lacking. One guy who approached our booth was senior who was graduating in May and had not ONE clue as to what he wanted to do when he graduated. YES... I know a lot of students are unsure of their career plans after graduation BUT as a senior you should have some sort of clue. This young brother had none and his lack of confidence was apparent the second he stepped to the booth. When I was in college they taught "what to do and not to do" of job fairs and interviews. I guess times are changing.
I'm not 100% sure why I typed all of the above and I'm not sure what the lasting impact of it will be on me personally but I just know that I am affected by it and I am becoming increasingly weary of dealing with black people? Can I change it? Do I think everybody should be like I want them to be? Do I think I am better than these people I just described? Am I afraid that I may resort to being like them? Am I willing to extend myself even more to the youth ? Am I becoming too judgmental to be an effective agent for change?
I warned you guys my thoughts were all over the place...as I stated earlier I'm not sure what all that I have typed means.......but I know i just want to HOLLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by icecoldbrother at 6:51 PM
2 Comments:
First of all, I'm glad you updated this bad boy. Secondly, I'm feeling you on just about everything you are saying. We, as a people, are losing our focus. There has not been enough positive mentoring in our community. It's sad.
As usual, we're right <=====> here. It's gotten to the point where I try very hard to avoid going places where I know we will show up and act/look a fool ... which means I'm most often at THE CRIB!!!
Showing up in court wearing a wife be? Showing up at a career fair without a resume? :-/
I'm done.
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