Mama's Boy

2006 has been a very rough year for my family due to the health problems that my mother has been facing since January. While she is making progress toward normal health I have had time to reflect a bit on my reactions. I have come to the always known but now accepted fact that I am a mama's boy. I never realized how emotionally dependent I am on my mother and how much I actually loved her until she went through a sickness. Thoughts of death and extended illness permeated my mind where she was concerned. I was not emotionally ready. Watching her laying in the hospital barely breathing shook me to my core. Usually when I go through things I could always use her as a sounding board(whether I needed or wanted her feedback). This time I had no one to express my feelings too. Sure I had friends I could have called and spilled my guts too but it wouldn't have been the same. So many things went through my mind.. would she ever see me get married?, would see ever see my children?, would she see my nephew grow up?. In all of my 29 years I don't think I ever thought about things like that b/c I assumed such was a given and we would experience such things.

While she is improving and it appears she will recover those thoughts still linger. In some ways I feel like such a loser for being so attached but seeing her go through her trials I praise God for that attachment because I had the chance to tell her exactly how I felt and she knows without a shadow of a doubt that I LOVE HER.

I take comfort in knowing that I have lived through 2 Corinthians 12:10 which states that "Wherefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong"

Moral of the story..... I'm a Mama's Boy and damn proud of it.